I was going to call you from the plane, but I realized I didn’t even have your number. Let’s fix that.

We are all drones on the inside.

I kept kicking a lump under the seat in front of me until it fell on the ground. Hmm… what do we have here?

Somewhere over Mongolia.

This is the biggest non-handicapped bathroom I’ve ever seen on a plane outside of first class. You could easily have sex with four other people in here at the same time comfortably… err yeah.

The first photo I took in China (at the Beijing airport). I should have probably held out for something cooler.

They had these little electronic survey things in front of the person that inspected you at immigration but unfortunately mine was broken. Maybe it was a good thing because I would have pushed two unhappy faces since, once again, my visa issues were brought up among other (non-photo-related) problems. I’m tired of holding up lines.

Beijing Capital International Airport’s new Terminal 3 (the second largest airport terminal in the world behind Dubai) has awesome ceilings everywhere. Instead of going to pick up my luggage I walked to as many places I had access to, laid down on the ground and took photos. Surprisingly, this is not the beginning of the story of how I almost got arrested twice in three days.

More evidence that I’m red flagged in China? This is how my luggage (thanks Nick) came out at the baggage claim.

The event people sent a car for me. VIP yo.

The aforementioned driver. I thought it would be a short drive but I ended up taking a satisfying nap on the car. It turns out the first event was in Badaling which is at least an hour away from Beijing city in some rural area in the middle of abso-fucking-lutely nowhere. Remind me next time to actually do some research and go over the itinerary before I leave the country.

The room they ended up booking for me at Badaling. Two beds for just me? A little much, considering I ended up only using the room to store my luggage and equipment.

Check out this awesome super retro night stand. Seriously, the hotel was super ghetto and their internet was supposed to be down for the weekend. I was planning on just taking a shower and then passing out till the next morning to try and circumvent jet lag. However, the event coordinator came to my room and invited me to dinner with her friends. Sometimes I really need to learn how to say no to cute girls.

I abhor Tsing-tao beer but when in China, do as Chinese do, right? Except I’m Taiwanese and fuck that shit—I couldn’t drink that so I vetoed the entire table’s alcoholic decision—this scrappy who-the-fuck-are-you-kid-from-Chicago-with-the-weird-accent and ordered a crate of this stuff pretending I actually knew what it was (no clue). Lemme tell you, sometimes things just work out. The beer was delicious and awesome. I made a blunder with the guys by not letting the girl next to me always pour my drink (I can pour my own stuff) but saved face by drinking everyone else under the table.