How not to get out of jury duty—write this on your affidavit form:

Apparently you morons didn’t understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I’m not putting my family’s well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don’t believe in our “justice” system and I don’t want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog’s balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the f__k alone.